How to Teach Children to Encourage Others

Encouragement is one of the most powerful ways children can support one another. A few kind words can help a child feel brave enough to try something new, to continue a task after making a mistake or believe in themselves when they feel unsure.

For young children, learning how to encourage others is an important part of developing empathy and social confidence. At this age, children are beginning to understand how their words and actions affect the people around them.

When parents actively teach children how to encourage others, they help them develop skills that lead to:

•  Stronger friendships

•  Greater emotional awareness

•  Improved confidence

•  Positive social behaviour

•  Empathy and kindness

In this guide, we explore why encouragement matters, how children learn it and practical ways parents can help their child become someone who lifts others up.

Why Encouragement Is an Important Empathy Skill for Children

Young children naturally focus on their own experiences. This is a normal part of development. However, between the ages of 4 and 6 children begin learning how their behaviour affects other people.

Encouragement is a powerful empathy skill because it teaches children to:

 ...notice when someone feels nervous or unsure

 ...respond with kindness and support

 ...help others feel confident

For example, imagine a child who feels nervous about joining a race at school. If another child says:

"You can do it! I’ll run with you"

That small moment of encouragement can completely change how the nervous child feels.

Encouragement teaches children an important lesson:

Our words can help others feel stronger, braver, and happier.

What Encouragement Looks Like for Young Children

Encouragement does not need to be complicated. For young children, it often appears in simple actions such as:

 ...cheering for a friend during a game

 ...saying “you can try again” when someone makes a mistake

 ...helping a friend who feels nervous

 ...celebrating someone else’s success

 ...offering kind words when someone feels disappointed

These small behaviours help children learn that being a good friend means supporting others.

When children practice encouragement regularly, they begin to understand that kindness can help others feel confident and make themselves feel happier and more confident as a result.

Why Some Children Struggle to Encourage Others

Although children are naturally capable of kindness, encouragement is a skill that develops over time.

Young children may struggle with encouragement because they are still learning how to:

•  Recognise other people’s emotions

•  Express supportive language

•  Understand how their words affect others

Sometimes children may even feel competitive or focused on winning. This can make it harder for them to notice when a friend needs encouragement.

Parents can help by guiding children to recognise these moments and modelling supportive behaviour.

How Encouragement Builds Confidence and Emotional Intelligence

Encouragement benefits both the child giving it and the child receiving it.

When children encourage others, they learn to:

1.  Recognise emotions in their friends

2.  Respond with empathy

3.  Communicate in positive ways

4.  Build stronger relationships

Meanwhile, the child receiving encouragement may feel:

•  More confident

•  Less afraid to try new things

•  Supported by their peers

These experiences help children develop emotional intelligence which is the ability to understand and respond to emotions in themselves and others.

Top 5 Tips for Teaching Children to Encourage Others

Helping children learn encouragement does not require formal lessons. Small everyday conversations and examples can make a big difference.

Here are five practical ways parents can teach this skill.

 1. Model Encouraging Language

Children learn how to speak to others by listening to the adults around them.

You can model encouragement by using phrases such as:

 “You’re doing a great job trying”

 “Keep going, you’re getting better”

 “I’m proud of how hard you tried”

When children hear supportive language regularly, they begin to use similar words with their friends.

 2. Teach Children to Notice When Someone Feels Nervous

Encouragement often begins with recognising emotions.

You can help your child look for signs that someone might feel unsure, such as:

 ...hesitation before trying something new

 ...quiet body language

 ...saying “I can’t do it”

Ask your child questions like:

"What do you think your friend might be feeling?"

This helps children develop empathy and awareness.

 3. Practice Encouraging Words

Young children sometimes want to help but don’t know what to say.

You can practice simple encouraging phrases together, such as:

 “You can do it”

 “Let’s try together”

 “That was a good try”

 “Don’t worry, keep going”

Practicing these phrases helps children feel more comfortable using them in real situations.

4. Celebrate Effort, not just success

Encouragement should focus on effort rather than winning. For example, if your child sees a friend struggling with a puzzle or game, you can suggest saying:

"You’re trying really hard"

This teaches children that trying and learning are more important than being the best.

 5. Praise Your Child When They Encourage Others

When you notice your child supporting a friend, acknowledge it.

For example:

"I noticed how you cheered for your friend when they were nervous. That was very kind of you to do that, I’m proud of you".

Positive reinforcement helps children understand that encouragement is an important and valued behaviour.

Everyday Moments Where Children Can Practice Encouragement

Opportunities to encourage others appear in many everyday situations.

Examples include:

• At school - A child might feel nervous about reading in front of the class or participating in a game.

• During sports or playground games - encouraging teammates can help everyone feel confident and enjoy the activity.

• During learning activities - a friend might feel frustrated while building something or completing a puzzle.

• When trying something new - children often feel unsure when learning a new skill.

These moments provide perfect opportunities for children to practice encouragement and kindness.

Using Stories to Teach Encouragement

Stories are one of the most effective ways to help young children understand empathy.

When children see characters helping others feel brave, they begin to imagine themselves doing the same.

Stories allow children to explore important questions such as:

1.  What should I say when a friend feels nervous?

2.  How can my words help someone feel confident?

3.  Why does encouragement matter?

   
   

This helps children see themselves as someone who can positively influence others.

Helping Your Child Become the Encouraging Hero

One powerful way to reinforce empathy lessons is through personalised storytelling.

In the Empathy Adventures story “You Can Do It!”, your child becomes the main character who helps a nervous friend feel brave enough to join a school race.

In the story, your child:

 ...notices that a friend feels unsure

 ...offers encouragement and support

 ...runs alongside their friend

 ...helps them discover their confidence

Seeing themselves as the hero of the story helps children understand that their words and actions can make a real difference to others.

Free Resource for Parents

If you would like to explore this empathy skill further with your child, you can download the free Empathy Adventures parent resource pack.

The guide includes:

•  conversation prompts

•  activities for children aged 4–6

•  practical strategies for building empathy

•  ways to help children support and encourage friends

This resource is designed to help parents introduce empathy skills in simple and engaging ways.

Final Thoughts

Encouragement is a small act that can have a big impact.

When children learn how to support others with kind words and positive actions, they build empathy, strengthen friendships and help others feel confident.

By teaching children to encourage their friends, parents help them grow into thoughtful, supportive individuals who understand the power of kindness.

Sometimes all it takes to help someone feel brave is a few simple words:

“You can do it.”